Why You Won’t Get Laid Tonight

It’s not because you’re not charming. You are. It’s not because you’re not well dressed. That doesn’t much matter. It’s not because you don’t have money. I know utter bums who get laid like JFK. So what is this mystery item that’s costing you rompage in the sack?

Logistics From Wikipedia – Logistics is the management of the flow of resources between the point of origin and the point of consumption in order to meet some requirements, for example, of customers or corporations

Let me splain. If you don’t have logistics locked down, you’re not getting laid. Period. What do I mean by logistics? I mean a clear – and ideally, simple – way to go from the place you initially meet a woman to the place where you’ll make sweet, kinky love to her.

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to said the Cat. ” “I don’t much care where” said Alice. “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,”said the Cat.

If you meet a cute girl and hit it off, you may have to defer getting physical with her until a more opportune time (like, for instance, if you meet in a coffee shop and it’s a lunch break from work or something). In this scenario, you can’t just drop everything and suggest an afternoon tea at your apartment and realistically expect her to come along.

But at some point, sooner rather than later, you’re going to have to find a way to bring a woman to your  Pied-à-terre and get physical. And guess what…?

Every last, tiny bit of these logistics is entirely YOUR responsibility.

Generally, it is NOT in a woman’s nature to exonerate you of any logistical challenges (or any challenges really). She wants to be led. She wants to be taken on an adventure. She wants you to know where you’re going, why you’re going there and what you’re going to do when you arrive.

In short, she wants to be seduced. I’m not saying she’ll NEVER work with you; she will, especially if she really likes you and trusts you and WANTS to go to bed with you. But it’s mostly on you. As it should be.

I learned the value of logistics while traveling abroad in Southeast Asia. Although I wish I had learned these lessons years before. During my travels, I’ve often stayed in hostels to stretch my money a bit further. Which means staying in a dormitory style room with several other people. So sex in this scenario is not happening.

Other times, I’ve been able to find nice, clean private rooms for cheap in guesthouses and family run hotels.

And this is the big takeaway: when you have a private place to take a woman, you will. When you don’t, you won’t. I know, I’m a freaking genius, right? This post should be an advertisement for my coaching services or something…

But seriously. It seems obvious. But what isn’t obvious is the magnitude of the ramifications it has on your behavior. If you don’t have a clear path from the place you’ve met a woman back to your place, it will sabotage your interactions. It’s almost pointless to even go out. Because even though you may be out and about and flirting with girls, you KNOW on an intuitive level that nothing’s going to come of this.

Because if she likes you, and the chemistry is bubbling and percolating, and all the lights are green…where the hell are you going to go now? To your dorm? Or to some place 40 minutes across the city? Or to your friend of a friend’s house? Or you don’t have a car? Or there are no taxis? Or it’s a 45 minute walk? That’s too much uncertainty and hassle for a woman. It’s too suggestive. It’s not smooth. It makes her think «uh oh…we’re going somewhere for sex, aren’t we?» and «I don’t really know this guy too well…»

She knows the score anyway, let’s be real. She knows the mating agenda is running through our funky little animal bodies at all times. But she wants to be seduced, remember? Seduction is subtle, poetic, musical, fun. And that last logistical step, if unplanned, can be like the quack of a goofy kazoo in the middle of a delicate symphony. It will make a farce out of all your efforts…

So figure out where you’re going to meet women, whether on the same day or second meet up. Then figure out EXACTLY how you’re going to take a woman back to your cave. I’m not going to exonerate you of this responsibility either. Be creative, be resourceful and figure it out. It’s not that hard. Just find a way and make it UNCOMPLICATED.

This isn’t just about sex by the way.

Sex is the bomb, we know this. Meeting beautiful girls and going to bed with them quickly, without dates and dinner and all that superficial bullcrap, is the best thing maybe ever. But there’s a deeper issue at stake.

Hot moments and great connections have a shelf life.

The more time that elapses between meeting a woman and hitting it off and having sex with her, the less likely it is that you’ll have sex. AND the more she’ll lose interest in you. Passionate relationships begin passionately. Fires burn quickly and completely.

Forget all that BS about waiting for sex and endless dates and weeks of texting. No. The sooner the better. Trust me. I was amused and vindicated to find that when I read through Paul Janka’s eBook, Attraction Formula, he corroborated the vital importance of getting physical soon. And he’s been doing this for a looong time.

My co-host Alain and I also talked about this on the Real Natural Seduction podcast (with embarrassing stories to illustrate). A woman will forgive you for acting too soon but you’ll lose her for sure if you wait around and pussyfoot. It’s called pussyfooting for a reason. The chesire cat is an expert at getting nowhere at all…

When you have tight logistics, your communications with women are more relaxed, clear and focused. You’re not just entering into nebulous conversation with the hope that maybe, some way, somehow, you’ll wind up in bed together. Not you. You’ve already eliminated this burden and now you can just focus on connecting with girls you find interesting. You can safely escalate things in a physical direction, knowing that you’ll be able to strike while the iron is hot.

Does it have to lead to sex? No. But now you have that option. And you won’t be wasting your time (or hers) with entertaining but ultimately dead end interactions that don’t get you what you want. So think ahead. Make your bed, get some candles out. Put on some Stan Getz. Prepare. This is survival. In the most fundamental sense!

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